And the Lord I will obey...

Do you have a person in the Bible that you often find yourself relating to? Back in 2000, I for the first time in my life felt God ask me to take a grand step of faith and resign the ministry position which I was in. In a moment of youth (26 years old), I didn't hesitate. I trusted and followed. I remember in that time, relating to Abraham. He was the guy in Genesis that time and again was asked to follow God and each time was obedient. It was shortly after that, in 2001, that I again sensed God moving us, but this time it was literally. We loaded up a truck and moved over 2000 miles to Arizona. Again I felt that I was in the Abraham position. It was a place of utter trust before God. Now, I would think that would solidify my trust in God. I would think that as I sit here 7 years later, I would feel a sense of trust that would be unshakable.... but I find myself struggling to trust God the way I did back then. I find myself more relating to Abraham when God told him that he would have a child and Abraham questioned God... I find my heart questioning God more than I like. I want to have that blind trust that I once had. I want God to be able to say about me what he said about Abraham in Hebrews 11.8

"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going."

That is what I want to relate to. I want to trust God with a reckless trust, but here is the verse that I find is more like me in Genesis 17.17

"Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, "Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old?"

Funny thing is that its the same guy. He had seen God work in ways that he couldn't explain. And I can say the same thing. I've seen God follow through on his promises, but now when I am faced with faith issues, I fall facedown and laugh, thinking "But God you aren't that BIG!" Kind of silly because I know God IS that big. I know that the same God that fulfilled his promises to Abraham is My God, too. I also know that 7 years ago, He proved himself faithful to me, yet I struggle with letting Him be in control of my life. And that is silly, because really none of us controls our life the way we think we do.

I was listening to a song today about Abraham by Andrew Peterson, and the line says this,

"Holy is the Lord
Holy is the Lord
And the Lord I will obey
Lord, help me I don’t know the way"

That is how I feel. Sometimes what God asks is SO hard for me. And I want to believe it, and I want to live in obedience to it, but I don't always know the "way" to get there. I am glad that Abraham kept going, even when it didn't make human sense. I am glad that later in life, he was unwaivering in his trust in God, and I am glad that in the end God commended Abraham's faith. I aspire to have "Faith like that." But I am the first to admit, I have such a long way to go...

"Lord, help me I don't know the way..."

Just my thoughts for this day!
Thanks for reading!